Mostly becauseI’ve mostly been on LiveJournal. I guess I prefer more interaction and making actual friends to this. Not that “this” is in any way bad or inferior. It’s just a little impersonal. I think I prefer to use this blog for the thoughts that I want to just put out there, without having to think/comment/discuss them later.
So, what’s been going on? Well, wow, now that I think about it, there’s a lot that’s happened of late. Most importantly, I dropped out of school. Well, okay, not “dropped out” (my inner drama-queen is coming out to play!). I dedided to take a Leave of Abscence, and try to sort out all my shit. This basically entails going to therapy a lot, ad crying and feeling sorry for myself. Well, okay, it’s less pathetic than it sounds; it’s actually been really difficult. I don’t fail, I never fail and I never quit and that’s exactly what I had to do in order to get better. Sure, it sucks that I missed exams and basuically wasted an entire year, but I’m alive. And in all honeslty, I probably wouldn’t be if I had decided to suck it up and stay at school.
Lately, the big topic of debate in my house has been: Antidepressants: To Medicate, Or Not To Medicate. Yeah, it’s about as fun as it sounds. Personally, I’m so relieved that it’s come up. I couldn’t deal by myself anymore. You have no idea how hard it has been for me to survive for the past 4 months. Every fucking day is a struggle. Sometimes, I feel like this is punishment for having such a smooth childhood; no troubles, no sadness, no nothing. Then, I hit 18 and everything falls to pieces. Figures.
